Daily Goal - If you do what you always do, you'll get what you always get.

Today I added an AdSense onto my account. Why? Why not? I decided for 2011 to stop questioning and doubting myself and my actions. I over think things too much so like I promised it is going to be a year of action. The only hiccup so far is I want the ads on the side and not beneath my posts. So I'm trying to figure that one out. You know as soon as I do.

There was a goal that I set for myself  yesterday of applying for a job. This didn't happen. I'm not going to be down on myself for not achieving my goal instead I examined why I didn't do it. I looked at the jobs, I shortlisted what I wanted but when it came time to look at it more carefully to apply I saw they were asking for things I didn't have. Certain skills and experience, I questioned myself whether I should still apply but in the end I decided against it. Why? My logic was I didn't want to waste my time applying for a job I won't get, because we all know how time consuming job applications are these days. And I trust myself to know that if I approach this negatively I won't present myself in the most positive light. Another deeper reason which in the hash light of today I realise is my old friend fear. Fear of failure( I never like doing things unless there was a 99.9% chance that I will be successful), which is why I procrastinate so much my doing research, and weighting up the pros and cons. To overcome this fear I need to move outside of my head and into the world of action. Fear of making the wrong decision, so I make no decision( after all you can't be wrong if you sit on the fence can you. The problem with that is you also can't be right.). It is a perpetual limbo a false security that is killing me. But it is strange that knowing all of this does not mean that I will change my ways. I am too much of a thinker and not enough of a doer. Fear rules my life. There I've said it. Fear of the unknown and taking chances have curtail the me that I am. The me that I see inside and that is banging it's bloodly fist against a mental prison.

So I have two daily goals. The first and most formidable is to overcome the fear within me and the second is to channel that fear into a actionable goal. Stop thinking whether it's the right decision or not, just do it.